The Way to Ideal Gratification

I love quiet, early mornings in my kitchen.  It makes me long for the day when I'm getting up early to feed hungry horses.  It's the reason I decided to go to nursing school, so we could afford a farm of our own.  I want to say that I'm lucky to have married a man who decided to intertwine his future abode with my horse farm, but it's not luck.  It's the best decision I ever made in a man.  Goddess knows I made plenty of bad decisions when it came to men.  I dated a guy once when I was younger, and I asked him if he'd be willing to follow me around the world.  He said "no."  I knew he wasn't the one, although I certainly thought he might have been. But, I was young and naive.  At least he taught me something about myself and about men.  I knew I wanted to see the world and I knew I wasn't going to live in Cincinnati forever.  He wanted to live in Newport, Kentucky for the rest of his life.  I told him that maybe one day, when we're old and gray, we'll be sitting next to each other in a diner in downtown Newport and we'll recognize each other.  And if we're lonely enough, maybe we'll finally make it work.  Of course, now we're friends on facebook, so I imagine we'll always know what each other looks like, where we work and live, and where we're going to be on any given day.  Which I'm ok with; I can avoid him.  Don't get me wrong, I wish him the best in life.  We had many fun times together.  But, I am soooo happy that I didn't marry him.  I guess that's why I had to go through all those men, to find out which ones I didn't want to marry.

Barn/House

I found this picture today.  It's their barn and their house rolled into one!  Wayland would never be far away if we had something like this.  When I've got a stack of hay getting ready to fall on me I could just yell for him and he'd hear me!  It's something to think about.  Maybe this guy (who's an equine estate realtor down in Kentucky) would let me visit his place.

Anyway, the whole point of my morning, and most mornings lately, is that I want my own farm with my own horses in my backyard, and my own tack in my barn. That's why I decided to be a nurse.  I wanted to be able to afford my own place.  I've never had a place to call my own.  This dream means so much to me.  I've accomplished all of my other dreams so far in life.  I have horses (although I only ever wanted one), I have my dogs, my cats, and my wonderfully supportive husband.  I'm only missing one thing.  I guess I am in a bit of a hurry to get it.  Although, I know it's coming to me.  All good things take time.  When you wait 30 years for something, you do expect perfection though.  And I've always been one who enjoys instant gratification, hence all the previous men.  But, at least I have the evidence to show that instant gratification is very rarely the way to ideal gratification.

I guess it's time to do some homework now.  I've only got two weeks of class left in my quarter, and then finals.  God and Goddess, help me to get through the remainder of this quarter.  Then, I've only got one more quarter of classes, and one more quarter of clinicals until I graduate.  You should start preparing now for my graduation party in June.  It's going to be BIG!